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Joining The Backdoor Betty Club: A Beginners Guide to Anal Sex

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Historically, the act of anal sex has been the forbidden fruit of intimacy. It is considered the naughtiest act a girl can engage in. Today an estimated one-fourth of straight couples report having tried some type of anal stimulation or sex.According to a study from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior (NSSHB) that was authored by Dr. Debby Herbenick and other researchers, although anal intercourse is reported by fewer women than other partnered sex behaviors, partnered women in the age groups between 18–49 are significantly more likely to report having anal sex in the past 90 days.

So, whether you think it feels good (there are erogenous zones in the anus for both males and females), are simply curious, or your partner is encouraging you to give it a try, when it comes time to add these three little words to your next sex convo, “Let’s do anal,” perhaps you should go in with a little butt, bit of preparation.

Here are some helpful tips to know before you leap into the backdoor Betty club:

1. Sex-ccessories. Lubrications are paramount. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be. Glycerin-based lubes like Astroglide don’t  last long enough. A silicone-based lubricant is going to be a lot better for anal sex. If you use one of the others, you have to stop, put more on, re-enter… it’s just a mess.

2. Position. For those just starting out, I think getting on all fours might be a little too intense, because she doesn’t have as much control. Lying on your side in the spooning position won’t allow penetration that’s as deep. It’s also a more relaxing position. When you become more comfortable, the doggie is the easiest way for a woman to orgasm.  In a study of heterosexual anal sex, female participants stated that direct stimulation of multiple erogenous zones simultaneously (the clitoris, the G-Spot, the anus, or other erogenous zones) enabled them to enjoy anal intercourse with much less discomfort compared to anal penetration by itself and to orgasm from it. Women who experienced orgasm during anal sex accompanied by direct stimulation of one or more of the other erogenous zones described it as more of a full-body experience compared to orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation alone

3. Potential dangers. Well, the thing I can say to her as a doctor is, it’s not unsafe. She’s not going to be wearing a diaper, she’s not going to have fecal incontinence, she’s not going to be soiling herself or passing gas all day. From her boyfriend, she wants to know that he’s not going to just get in there and go crazy. Men do sometimes—they lose their minds. You don’t start out with the penis. Work your way up, stimulating the outside with a finger or tongue and then slowly use your finger to enter the anus. And then once she get used to that, you can go on to bigger and better things.

4. Communicate. As with all type of sexual activity, verbal communication is a must. Talk to your partner about your fears or desires for anal sex. Continue to communicate when first trying anal sex by letting your partner know if it hurts or if you would like him to move more slowly or more quickly. It is important that you feel comfortable so don’t be afraid to communicate!

5. Keep downstairs tidy. One of the first things people are afraid is the cleanliness factor. What you may have seen in porn, spontaneous anal sex, is largely a fantasy. Actors and actresses prep for anal scenes, and that prep may involve something as extreme not eating the day before or even anal douching. Douching is safe and simple. You can either buy a disposable enema kit or an anal douche. If using an enema kit, replace the fluid with warm tap water, insert and expel. These products just rinse out your rectum, rather than forcing you to have a bowel movement. A couple of warm water rinses and your anus will be cleaner than the day you were born.

Anal sex is one act you should go into with an open…mind. It’s not something you should feel pressured into doing. It’s like sushi, some people love it, and some say it smells bad, makes their eyes water, and even after a full meal, they’re left still hungry.

Not to scare you, but keeping our site responsible, here is our disclaimer list.

Tips for increasing anal sex safety:

  • Avoid inserting a penis into the mouth or vagina after it’s been inserted in the anus until your partner puts on a new condom.
  • Use plenty of lubricant to reduce the risk of tissue tears. With latex condoms, always use a water-based lubricant.
  • Relax prior to insertion of the penis to help reduce the risk of tears. Taking a warm bath before anal sex or lying on your stomach may make insertion easier.
  • Stop if anal sex is painful.
  • If you experience bleeding after anal sex or you notice a sores or lumps around the anus or a discharge coming from it, see your doctor as soon as possible.

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